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No I haven’t disappeared into oblivion. It’s classic isn’t it? Life gets in the way, or should I say, you let life get in the way, and the healing goes on hold. I feel thoroughly ashamed. I feel like I’ve let myself down (and anyone reading this – sorry); I haven’t written for about 3… Read more
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I feel like I’ve fallen off the wagon…I haven’t written since 27 July. But I do have a very valid excuse. It’s because I *actually* took a dear friend’s advice to get out of my mental and daily rut (I’m a pro at NOT taking advice!!) and went away for a week for a sojourn,… Read more
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I know that’s the name of a rock band and this blog has nothing to do with music (just in case you’re inclined to continue reading). Little things can make me fly off the handle in an inconsolable rage. I often react wildly disproportionately to minor things that most people would find mildly annoying or… Read more
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As a survivor of childhood trauma, thriving is a thing that I’m literally having to learn. And that is in all areas of my life from play to work to relationships. Especially with relationships. I haven’t had the discerning ability to know what’s good for me or not, and how to ‘choose’ male relationships rather… Read more
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Reading books about trauma lately, I totally relate to how trauma survivors (who haven’t learned to regulate and heal) stay in survival mode. Survival mode (for me anyway) is linked to comfort zone, what feels safe and familiar and getting ‘through’ life rather than getting ‘from’ life. There’s a big difference in getting through life… Read more
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Oh for fuck’s sake…I’ve spiralled again this week. Not enough exercise, not getting up early enough, not doing my pranayama (yeah, yeah ‘breathwork’), not enough yoga, didn’t go outdoor swimming blah blah, fucking blah…. The sad-sack-ness has consumed me. Grief and overwhelm (I’m experiencing both at the moment) and a complete paralysis to want to… Read more
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I’m feeling very flat, uninspired and unmotivated. It was like a wave of sad-sack-ness descended upon me out of nowhere yesterday and I’m struggling to write this…(a sad sack is sad, gloomy person….). I thought I was doing so well… I realised last night that I hadn’t written for four days. Well, I lie. I… Read more
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It’s a Saturday sunny midday and I’m sitting down to write this blog. I’m not sure how many Saturdays I’ve sat down to write. I feel strangely peaceful and calm today; I don’t feel so stormy from within today. What it could be is I did do some yoga this morning along with vagus nerve… Read more
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I’ve started reading a book about healing the inner child – I think that very much goes hand-in-hand with healing childhood trauma, don’t you think? One ‘symptom’ of ingrained childhood trauma is difficulty maintaining relationships. Now, I’ve never considered myself someone who can’t make friends or maintain friendships or relationships. In fact, I make friends… Read more
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I started writing out this post yesterday. Usually I can complete a post quite quickly and get into my flow as this stuff just oozes out of me. But I was finding it really difficult to write yesterday and I felt very, very shitty…. I’m wasn’t flowing and I felt clogged up (in fact I… Read more
tag cloud
abandonment anger anxiety breakdown childhood trauma covert narcissism CPTSD creativity decompress depression family gas lighting grief Healing health IFS inner-child-healing inner child Internal family systems jungian life love memoir mental-health Narcissism pain body rage regret relationships repressed pain repressed trauma self-love Somatic spirituality toxic energy trauma trauma healing trauma symptoms Triggers trust issues unhealed trauma unhealed wounds unreolsved pain Wounds writing
