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These are my diarised series of ‘thought notes’ that I Whatsapp’d to myself from August 2025 -January 2026, (a blogging hiatus lasting 5 months). Sometimes an essay. Sometimes a one liner. All raw truth. Any similiarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental… 1 August 2025 I’m hungry for care and attention. No one Read more
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After a five-month hiatus from posting, the author reflects on their struggles with ADHD, trauma, and mental health. Despite feeling overwhelmed, they communicated with themselves through WhatsApp. They recognise the importance of self-compassion while understanding the toxic dynamics around them. Now, they aim to share their journey through retrospective writings. Read more
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Of course, it’s not the word fuck; that would be too obvious wouldn’t it? I’m writing this from inside the wound and I don’t care how it sounds. I’ve been pre-occupied about revenge justice and forgiveness, although I think justice (in my opinion) is simply a euphemism and also a synonym, for revenge. Same difference, Read more
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Experiences come along to highlight unresolved pain, to expose the unhealed parts of ourselves, revealing itself as emotionally triggering situations and disproportionate pain. If a seemingly incocuous situation hurts way too much, and disproportionately so, then it’s the signal of an unhealed wound; if you can’t simply shrug it off, it’s undigested pain from the Read more
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It’s common knowledge that if you need mental health support of any kind NOT to go to anyone you know – it’s too close for comfort. I admit, I went against that tenet and had a session of hypnotherapy/regression back in April 2024 with an acquaintance of mine, two months after I’d had the punch Read more
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Until last week, I’d had a five week hiatus from from therapy – or should I say counselling (it’s the same difference). To be honest I couldn’t afford to pay for it with not earning regular money and ducking and diving from corporate behemoths to avoid bill paying. Quite a gap considering I started off Read more
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(continued from part 1) After the unholy trinity left, Mum and I were alone, isolated and the hunted. Completely cut off and ostracised by any family we had, (she was the divorced black sheep of the family and we literally had no support for anywhere- no hyperbole), under duress I learned that I had to Read more
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I’m not sure when I actually left my body – whether it was the racially abused 7 year old or the abruptly abandoned, devastated and heart-broken 14 year old living in fear. All I know is that somewhere along the line, I’d abandoned myself completely. From 14 onwards, I was emotionally and spiritually broken and Read more
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I feel like crying. I’m so conscious of the fact that I haven’t written in three weeks, not because I didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t, feeling completely crippled with the inability to express myself. I hate it when I can’t write. I do have a partial excuse though for the three week hiatus: Read more
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I’ve been wondering lately: is there a gift in my childhood trauma? Is there something beautiful in the bad, some sort of meaning that I need to find? Is there something to learn from my painful experiences to help me live differently, to mould and shape my life and make better choices? The questions arose Read more
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abandonment anger anxiety breakdown childhood trauma covert narcissism CPTSD creativity decompress depression dreamwork family forgive forgiveness grief Healing health IFS inner-child-healing inner child Internal family systems life love memoir mental-health Narcissism pain body rage regret relationships repressed pain repressed trauma self-abandonment shadow-work shadows trauma trauma healing trauma symptoms Triggers trust issues unealed wounds unhealed trauma unhealed wounds Wounds writing
