grief
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These are my diarised series of ‘thought notes’ that I Whatsapp’d to myself from August 2025 -January 2026, (a blogging hiatus lasting 5 months). Sometimes a one liner. Sometimes an essay. All raw, unabated truth. Any similiarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental… 4 September 2025: Felt really let down by P. It Read more
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These are my diarised series of ‘thought notes’ that I Whatsapp’d to myself from August 2025 -January 2026, (a blogging hiatus lasting 5 months). Sometimes a one liner. Sometimes an essay. All raw, unabated truth. Any similiarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental… 29 August 2026 Been feeling distrustful and unsupported which has Read more
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These are my diarised series of ‘thought notes’ that I Whatsapp’d to myself from August 2025 -January 2026, (a blogging hiatus lasting 5 months). Sometimes a one liner. Sometimes an essay. All raw, unabated truth. Any similiarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental… 26 August 2025 I met J today. Went for a Read more
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I’m not sure when I actually left my body – whether it was the racially abused 7 year old or the abruptly abandoned, devastated and heart-broken 14 year old living in fear. All I know is that somewhere along the line, I’d abandoned myself completely. From 14 onwards, I was emotionally and spiritually broken and Read more
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I feel like crying. I’m so conscious of the fact that I haven’t written in three weeks, not because I didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t, feeling completely crippled with the inability to express myself. I hate it when I can’t write. I do have a partial excuse though for the three week hiatus: Read more
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I’ve been wondering lately: is there a gift in my childhood trauma? Is there something beautiful in the bad, some sort of meaning that I need to find? Is there something to learn from my painful experiences to help me live differently, to mould and shape my life and make better choices? The questions arose Read more
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As usual my posts are irregular, haphazard and disorderly. But I did say that I’d post when I had something to say rather than trying to scrape out something for the continuity and hell of it. When writing from the heart, it has to be from the heart, that’s when it makes the biggest impact. Read more
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Have you ever had a gush of emotion that comes up out of nowhere, for no reason, catching you off guard and literally brings you to tears? Well it’s been happening quite a lot lately, mainly when I’ve been working out. So I’m pondering about the connection between doing a workout and emotional release? It Read more
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I’ve just read one of my previous posts Solace is Golden, and I know I’ve regressed. For the past 3 weeks since I re-surfaced to share my healing, I’ve not been able to cope with my emotions. I haven’t written in recent weeks as the emotional overload has left me feeling deflated and depressed with Read more
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Oh for fuck’s sake…I’ve spiralled again this week. Not enough exercise, not getting up early enough, not doing my pranayama (yeah, yeah ‘breathwork’), not enough yoga, didn’t go outdoor swimming blah blah, fucking blah…. The sad-sack-ness has consumed me. Grief and overwhelm (I’m experiencing both at the moment) and a complete paralysis to want to Read more