These are my diarised series of ‘thought notes’ that I Whatsapp’d to myself from August 2025 -January 2026, (a blogging hiatus lasting 5 months). Sometimes a one liner. Sometimes an essay. All raw, unabated truth. Any similiarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental…
10 October 2025
I was mocked a few weeks ago for ordering a cup of tea and not booze at the curry lunch club. It’s supposed to a group of awakened souls. My arse awakened what a load of bollocks. The host is a fucking fake spiritual type, another narcissistic fleabag who is quick to gossip about others behind their backs. I’ve realised she’s toxic as hell and I’m the newbie in the group. Why can’t anyone else see it? Maybe they do, who knows. I couldn’t believe it when she called me out in front of everyone as “you’re weird” just because I ordered a cup of tea. She a mid-sixty something year old bag! I happen to like tea and I’m not bothered about having a drink. It’s poison as far as I’m concerned. If she was genuinely soulful as she passes herself off to be, she wouldn’t even have bat an eyelid at the fact that I wasn’t drinking. She was clearly triggered by it and shows what an insecure, superficial, hollow reptile she really is. Funny she didn’t utter a word to her overweight flatmate sat at the end of the table who ordered a tea when she arrived late. So it clearly wasn’t an issue for any of the others in the group not drinking, only me, and she didn’t single anyone else out either. She tried to pass it off as a joke but she wasn’t joking, course she wasn’t, she mocked me twice more that afternoon for the same thing. “Don’t drown yourself” she uttered under her breath when I asked someone to pass the water. One of the other women agreed with me that drink is akin to poison. And then the reptile mocked me again at the pub later on, made some gesture and said something with a smirk on her ugly face when I ordered a mint tea. Who the fuck does she think she is trying to show me up? Triggered her insecurities? Shone a light on her shortcomings did I ‘cuz she has no self control over her drink habit? I think the reptile shamed the woman who agreed with me about booze being poison into having a drink as she sat there with some sort of cocktail and when I looked at her, she said sheepishly said she only ordered it to see what it tastes like. And she was sitting next to the toxic reptile. I bet the reptile had probably shamed her into having a drink. I just don’t understand why some people want to turn a blind eye? “Oh that’s just her sense of humour she doesn’t mean anything by it!” which is what someone had to say about it who I confided in. At least my narc radar is working. I was really flat that day, not buoyant at all. I wish I’d have said something to shut her down but I wasn’t able to think quick enough to throw anything back at her. Vile, repulsive creature. These people show their true colours. At least I’ve seen through her. I’ve realised I have a gift of seeing through people for what they really are. Enjoys insulting people and passes it all off as love and light, which she does with the messages in the Whatsapp group. I’m sure I’m not the only one who see it. he passes herself off as some sort of spiritual maven and healer who does spiritual readings and shrouds herself with fake love & light when I can see straight through it. It’s dangerous if people are duped by her and putting their wellbeing in the hands of these charlatans. She’s still possessed if you ask me. Most narcs are demons. Don’t even know why I’m thinking about this. Things just keep bothering me right now…
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