trauma
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I’m learning to dial down my survival speed setting from super fast to slow. That is the sign of a dysregulated nervous system. How many cold showers is it going o take to get regulated??? All my life I’ve simply floated along, going through the motions whilst I’m not all there. It’s been a flat,… Read more
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I *actually* finished reading one of the books I mentioned, Healing from Trauma, a Survivors Guide (I’ve mentioned it before) can’t remember which post, sorry. I started it a few months ago, got part way through, then got distracted so put it down and started looking at something else trauma related, maybe YT videos. I… Read more
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It’s nearly 7 months (6 months and 3 ish weeks to be precise) since I gathered the emotional and mental strength to leave my narcissist boyfriend. I’ll call him full-on narc. Full-on narc was the second narc I attracted between 2020 and 2022. I do believe we attract people energetically and being a trauma survivor,… Read more
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I haven’t written for a few days and it feels like I should have, and feeling a bit bad as this is a commitment to myself. Although I’m not being unkind to myself these days. I have been baking and frosting cakes through the last few days so I’ve not been sitting around navel gazing….In… Read more
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I haven’t written for a few days; neither have I been doing enough physical exercise or pranayama (breath work) or vagus resetting, although I do manage to stand under a cold shower most days. I did go for a 5 mile walk yesterday (for the first time in days). I had been feeling like I’m… Read more
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This has bothered me for a long time but I’ve never really known myself. I know most of the human population could say that about themselves but I mean in the context of thriving and doing things that make me happy. It was watching the headline act at Glastonbury festival on Saturday night, Coldplay, that… Read more
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Last year I stayed at a B&B down south with my narcy ex called “Gunnado”. I didn’t get it at first. I pronounced it “Gunardo”. It’s actually pronounced “Gunn-a-do” – you know, I’m gunna do it. Simply because the owners had the flat on their ‘gunna-do-it” list. Didn’t realise that flat was an oracle telling… Read more
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Is anger also suppressed or unused creativity? I once saw a Brene Brown quote that goes something like “unused creativity isn’t benign; it metasizes – it turns into anger, rage, frustration and shame” – something like that. That is not verbatim. It resonated like pressing down on deep bruise. Writing is my flow place. It… Read more
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I’ve spiralled over the past few days, since last Thursday. I’ve been feeling depressed, lost, with no feeling or purpose, no direction, lost in the wilderness of my life (again – I’ve been here before) and the same compulsive thoughts flying around my mind that I can’t seem to get rid of. I got up… Read more
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From as way, way back as I can remember, anger has plagued my life and unfortunately it’s my go-to response with any situation where there’s injustice of some description. I’ve not to this day learned to temper my anger.. Whether it’s my life or something I’ve read about or seen, anger is my modus operandi.… Read more