life
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Yes I know: relationships are hard for most people at the best of times. But I really don’t think it’s the same playing field when you’ve had childhood trauma to contend with and a dysregulated, handicapped nervous system that wreaks havoc with day-to-day living (and imbedded, unconcious neediness), which has left me with a trail Read more
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My anxiety has a voice. It’s only very recently I’ve realised that it’s the voice of chronic anxiety (although I hate labels like that). It’s a negative voice by default constantly popping up in all kinds of scenarios warning me of some impending doom. But I don’t think it (meaning the voice) or me are Read more
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Is leaky boundaries like leaky gut sydrome where toxins leak in and out? I have to face facts that I have boundaries like a tea bag (although I like to think I’m oh so together). I say this because of what happened a few days ago when I went to a small event about writing. Read more
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As usual my posts are irregular, haphazard and disorderly. But I did say that I’d post when I had something to say rather than trying to scrape out something for the continuity and hell of it. When writing from the heart, it has to be from the heart, that’s when it makes the biggest impact. Read more
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Have you ever had a gush of emotion that comes up out of nowhere, for no reason, catching you off guard and literally brings you to tears? Well it’s been happening quite a lot lately, mainly when I’ve been working out. So I’m pondering about the connection between doing a workout and emotional release? It Read more
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I had a brain dump on Whatsapp. Yes I message myself when a thought comes to me. It’s quite good you should try it some time. Anyway here’s my literal, unedited Whatsapp message brain dump: This is what it has felt like and feels like living in a traumatised CPTSD body: Scattered, unfocused, inability to Read more
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I’m bawling my eyes out right now whilst I write this….a part of me got triggered yesterday. In fact, I think it a very HUGE and WOUNDED part….:( I saw a girl/young-ish woman probably 30-something in the supermarket. I was at the normal checkout with an actual human serving me ( I like to be Read more
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I started writing this last night but I just couldn’t flow, totally wired and trying to come down from the ceiling from an external battle that I’m in right now. I was sitting in front of the screen last night, with a tightness in me and overthinking on what to write even though I knew Read more
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I’m at an impasse; I’m trying to ‘sort my life out’ (again) for probably the 5th time in the last decade, figuring out how to move forward and carve out my life (again) reinventing myself (again) and I’m confused not knowing where to start (again) at 49. Although the therapy I’m having is giving me Read more