Healing
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It’s nearly 7 months (6 months and 3 ish weeks to be precise) since I gathered the emotional and mental strength to leave my narcissist boyfriend. I’ll call him full-on narc. Full-on narc was the second narc I attracted between 2020 and 2022. I do believe we attract people energetically and being a trauma survivor,… Read more
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I haven’t written for a few days and it feels like I should have, and feeling a bit bad as this is a commitment to myself. Although I’m not being unkind to myself these days. I have been baking and frosting cakes through the last few days so I’ve not been sitting around navel gazing….In… Read more
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This has bothered me for a long time but I’ve never really known myself. I know most of the human population could say that about themselves but I mean in the context of thriving and doing things that make me happy. It was watching the headline act at Glastonbury festival on Saturday night, Coldplay, that… Read more
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Last year I stayed at a B&B down south with my narcy ex called “Gunnado”. I didn’t get it at first. I pronounced it “Gunardo”. It’s actually pronounced “Gunn-a-do” – you know, I’m gunna do it. Simply because the owners had the flat on their ‘gunna-do-it” list. Didn’t realise that flat was an oracle telling… Read more
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Is anger also suppressed or unused creativity? I once saw a Brene Brown quote that goes something like “unused creativity isn’t benign; it metasizes – it turns into anger, rage, frustration and shame” – something like that. That is not verbatim. It resonated like pressing down on deep bruise. Writing is my flow place. It… Read more
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From as way, way back as I can remember, anger has plagued my life and unfortunately it’s my go-to response with any situation where there’s injustice of some description. I’ve not to this day learned to temper my anger.. Whether it’s my life or something I’ve read about or seen, anger is my modus operandi.… Read more
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I am re-reading, in my opinion, a very good book that I bought a few months ago when the realisation hit me that I have a mountain of unresolved trauma to heal. It’s a secret read. Not one of these hyped-up, over marketed, polished Hay House authors (that is all about them, their image and… Read more
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I’ve read that being mentally scattered or just plain scatty is a by product of a fucked up, deregulated nervous system from early trauma It’s how I feel this morning. Scatty, scattered and totally ADHD, where I can’t focus on my morning yoga and exercise routine (because my mind is anxious racing around everywhere). You’d… Read more
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I started writing this post a week ago, felt like shit as I was going on and on about nothing and then committed it to the drafts bin because it felt like I was walking through treacle. I mustered up the energy that day to open my lap top and write. I’m wasn’t finding it… Read more
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I was really worried after I split from my narc in Dec 2023 that I wouldn’t know how to spot another narc and that another would surreptitiously infiltrate itself into my life again to wreak havoc. Well I’m quite pleased with myself. I’ve spotted someone whom I was in a pseudo-friendship with, I say pseudo… Read more