childhood trauma
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I’m bawling my eyes out right now whilst I write this….a part of me got triggered yesterday. In fact, I think it a very HUGE and WOUNDED part….:( I saw a girl/young-ish woman probably 30-something in the supermarket. I was at the normal checkout with an actual human serving me ( I like to be Read more
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I started writing this last night but I just couldn’t flow, totally wired and trying to come down from the ceiling from an external battle that I’m in right now. I was sitting in front of the screen last night, with a tightness in me and overthinking on what to write even though I knew Read more
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I’m at an impasse; I’m trying to ‘sort my life out’ (again) for probably the 5th time in the last decade, figuring out how to move forward and carve out my life (again) reinventing myself (again) and I’m confused not knowing where to start (again) at 49. Although the therapy I’m having is giving me Read more
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As above, so below; as within, so without. I originally started this post on 3 Feb 25 but it fell by the wayside which pisses me off as this writing is cathartic for me and also a promise to myself and my healing. There’s just been too much aggro and bullshit going on in my Read more
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Yes I’ve been silent for a month or so (again) and yes I know, I’m not keeping the promises to myself to document this healing journey as often as I should. Should is a heavy word. But at the same time, I can’t and won’t pressure myself. This is my journey of healing and it’s Read more
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I’ve just read one of my previous posts Solace is Golden, and I know I’ve regressed. For the past 3 weeks since I re-surfaced to share my healing, I’ve not been able to cope with my emotions. I haven’t written in recent weeks as the emotional overload has left me feeling deflated and depressed with Read more
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No I haven’t disappeared into oblivion. It’s classic isn’t it? Life gets in the way, or should I say, you let life get in the way, and the healing goes on hold. I feel thoroughly ashamed. I feel like I’ve let myself down (and anyone reading this – sorry); I haven’t written for about 3 Read more
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I feel like I’ve fallen off the wagon…I haven’t written since 27 July. But I do have a very valid excuse. It’s because I *actually* took a dear friend’s advice to get out of my mental and daily rut (I’m a pro at NOT taking advice!!) and went away for a week for a sojourn, Read more
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I know that’s the name of a rock band and this blog has nothing to do with music (just in case you’re inclined to continue reading). Little things can make me fly off the handle in an inconsolable rage. I often react wildly disproportionately to minor things that most people would find mildly annoying or Read more
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As a survivor of childhood trauma, thriving is a thing that I’m literally having to learn. And that is in all areas of my life from play to work to relationships. Especially with relationships. I haven’t had the discerning ability to know what’s good for me or not, and how to ‘choose’ male relationships rather Read more