Feeling more resilient I confronted JKR the ‘friend’ who suddenly dumped me out of the blue after I asked her partner for some support with a difficult situation. The situation I didn’t see coming that hit me like a fast train and reeling from the emotional pain. It was a shock to the system and massively triggering for me with the abandonment issues I have from childhood. Of course, I’m now on this healing journey to reconcile that childhood trauma.
I’ve been wanting to say something to her for months. And feeling more resilient last week (an you have to check in with your resilience levels prior to confronting something or someone), I decided to send her a message. It was un emotional and to the point message, calling out her behaviour. A message that I am quite proud of and pleased that I finally sent, putting the monkey firmly on her back. I sent it at 9.30am on Saturday morning. And guess what??? She hasn’t replied! What a surprise Mrs Passive Aggressor of the Year. She’s been the silent aggressor for 4 months and now she’s been confronted she got her tail between her legs even more. I haven’t wronged her in any way, all I asked for was support. What a fucking coward. Do you know what, I think she might even be a covert narcissist. Looking back, she did everything on her terms when it suited her. On the face of it, she’s kind, caring and softly spoken. But to be this passive aggressive shows a huge flaw in her and a very different side to her true nature. And like I said before passive aggressive behaviour is like silent gas-lighting – it makes the person who it’s being inflicted on question themselves. It’s insidious and dangerous behaviour AND it can make you so angry that you end up lashing out at the passive aggressor making you look bad. These types of people have a way of pushing others to say and do things, placing the blame onto others whilst the passive aggressor looks innocent. Silent killers.
It’s only now I realise (after dating the narc and now her) how narcissistic my family was, growing up around them and the hurt they inflicted upon me and my mum. I grew up around a bunch of covert narcs -it’s taken me this long to realise it. Blame was the no.1 tactic used by my aunts not only against my mum but also me when I had an opportunity to confront them later in life. More about my childhood shit on another blog. Blame, lies, pity-mongering/victimhood, manipulation and passive aggression was what I mainly witnessed from my born-into family (they aren’t my real family) as well as lust for money for one’s own advancement which is another over-arching trait. Why are we born into shit holes like that but the effect reverberate throughout life and we end up meeting people like that, re-enacting what we’ve already been through. If often doesn’t feel fair that we have to deal with the consequences and aftermath of family shit. The healing part isn’t easy. How do we know when we’ve healed? Like I said before, it’s not like a scab that you can see healing over….
If baring my soul to you (and the world) has moved or touched a part of you in any way, then your support would be very welcome. To help me on this healing journey, perhaps you’d like to buy me a coffee (although mines a tea) via the link below:
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