Wounds
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Yes I’ve been silent for a month or so (again) and yes I know, I’m not keeping the promises to myself to document this healing journey as often as I should. Should is a heavy word. But at the same time, I can’t and won’t pressure myself. This is my journey of healing and it’s… Read more
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I’ve just read one of my previous posts Solace is Golden, and I know I’ve regressed. For the past 3 weeks since I re-surfaced to share my healing, I’ve not been able to cope with my emotions. I haven’t written in recent weeks as the emotional overload has left me feeling deflated and depressed with… Read more
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No I haven’t disappeared into oblivion. It’s classic isn’t it? Life gets in the way, or should I say, you let life get in the way, and the healing goes on hold. I feel thoroughly ashamed. I feel like I’ve let myself down (and anyone reading this – sorry); I haven’t written for about 3… Read more
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Oh for fuck’s sake…I’ve spiralled again this week. Not enough exercise, not getting up early enough, not doing my pranayama (yeah, yeah ‘breathwork’), not enough yoga, didn’t go outdoor swimming blah blah, fucking blah…. The sad-sack-ness has consumed me. Grief and overwhelm (I’m experiencing both at the moment) and a complete paralysis to want to… Read more
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I’m learning to dial down my survival speed setting from super fast to slow. That is the sign of a dysregulated nervous system. How many cold showers is it going o take to get regulated??? All my life I’ve simply floated along, going through the motions whilst I’m not all there. It’s been a flat,… Read more
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Last year I stayed at a B&B down south with my narcy ex called “Gunnado”. I didn’t get it at first. I pronounced it “Gunardo”. It’s actually pronounced “Gunn-a-do” – you know, I’m gunna do it. Simply because the owners had the flat on their ‘gunna-do-it” list. Didn’t realise that flat was an oracle telling… Read more
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I had a cold shower again this morning and did my pranayama (I hate the term “breath work”) It’s fucking pranayama, why don’t people use the correct terminology and give it the credence it deserves???? And I do the funny eye movements (look it up online, resetting the vagus nerve through eye movements). Those things… Read more
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I’m not going to tell anyone my name, who I am, where I live etc. It’s inconsequential. Anonymity in a digital world is priceless. A writer is what I should have become all my life and a huge part of me that I left on the shelf at 16-ish, (because I was angry with the… Read more