Real stories. Deep wounds. Honest healing. One survivor’s honest journey through childhood trauma, healing, and hope. Unfiltered.

Triggers

  • trust issues…

    Experiences come along to highlight unresolved pain, to expose the unhealed parts of ourselves, revealing itself as emotionally triggering situations and disproportionate pain. If a seemingly incocuous situation hurts way too much, and disproportionately so, then it’s the signal of an unhealed wound; if you can’t simply shrug it off, it’s undigested pain from the… Read more

  • My mental health has taken a huge nose-dive this past week. I’m still fragile. Extremely. I feel like I’ve collapsed from within. My emotions are teetering and simmering on the surface and I’m edgy as hell. Very edgy. I’m crying easily over seemingly minor issues and I feel weak from within; all my inner strength… Read more

  • when trauma screams…

    I’ve been unable to write for over a week. And I’ve been reading too many novels. My creativity has felt crooked and crumpled down within me, concertinaed like a less-than-pretty origami shape that I didn’t know how to undo; I’ve been feeling like a tangled mess (like my split ends all mangled together) and I… Read more

  • big kid (adult child)

    A lot of people call themselves “big kids” don’t they? “I’m just a big kid”. I said it last night to someone at a new yoga-type class I went to. Big kid is a euphemism for adult child. Imagine saying that “yeah, I’m an adult child”. Doesn’t sound so cool does it? How many other… Read more

  • relation-shits…

    Yes I know: relationships are hard for most people at the best of times. But I really don’t think it’s the same playing field when you’ve had childhood trauma to contend with and a dysregulated, handicapped nervous system that wreaks havoc with day-to-day living (and imbedded, unconcious neediness), which has left me with a trail… Read more

  • alone-ness…

    My lack of real friends and closeness with others is bothering me and has been for over a week. I got triggered last week by someone I consider a friend (but who clearly doesn’t feel the same way about me) who I knew was sweeping me aside. You can tell what’s going on from text… Read more

  • cry baby…

    So…I burst into tears in front of a group of women I’d never met before (this happened last week). I tell one lie – I knew one of them (not the other 7). It seems like I have a load more healing to do… Here’s what happened: I bumped into The One I Know at… Read more

  • Let’s talk about dysregulated. It’s happened twice in 7 days and I feel like I’ve regressed… I fucking hate it; just when I think I’m healing and then BOOM something comes along to slap me hard in face and sends me stumbling and sliding down a slippery slope into the “trigger-dome”, reminding me that there… Read more

  • body image issues…

    I’m bawling my eyes out right now whilst I write this….a part of me got triggered yesterday. In fact, I think it a very HUGE and WOUNDED part….:( I saw a girl/young-ish woman probably 30-something in the supermarket. I was at the normal checkout with an actual human serving me ( I like to be… Read more

  • No I haven’t disappeared into oblivion. It’s classic isn’t it? Life gets in the way, or should I say, you let life get in the way, and the healing goes on hold. I feel thoroughly ashamed. I feel like I’ve let myself down (and anyone reading this – sorry); I haven’t written for about 3… Read more