Real stories. Deep wounds. Honest healing. One survivor’s honest journey through childhood trauma, healing, and hope. Unfiltered.

Symptoms

  • Let’s talk about dysregulated. It’s happened twice in 7 days and I feel like I’ve regressed… I fucking hate it; just when I think I’m healing and then BOOM something comes along to slap me hard in face and sends me stumbling and sliding down a slippery slope into the “trigger-dome”, reminding me that there Read more

  • confused chaos…

    I’m at an impasse; I’m trying to ‘sort my life out’ (again) for probably the 5th time in the last decade, figuring out how to move forward and carve out my life (again) reinventing myself (again) and I’m confused not knowing where to start (again) at 49. Although the therapy I’m having is giving me Read more

  • I’ve just read one of my previous posts Solace is Golden, and I know I’ve regressed. For the past 3 weeks since I re-surfaced to share my healing, I’ve not been able to cope with my emotions. I haven’t written in recent weeks as the emotional overload has left me feeling deflated and depressed with Read more

  • I know that’s the name of a rock band and this blog has nothing to do with music (just in case you’re inclined to continue reading). Little things can make me fly off the handle in an inconsolable rage. I often react wildly disproportionately to minor things that most people would find mildly annoying or Read more

  • Reading books about trauma lately, I totally relate to how trauma survivors (who haven’t learned to regulate and heal) stay in survival mode. Survival mode (for me anyway) is linked to comfort zone, what feels safe and familiar and getting ‘through’ life rather than getting ‘from’ life. There’s a big difference in getting through life Read more

  • unfinished symphony…

    I *actually* finished reading one of the books I mentioned, Healing from Trauma, a Survivors Guide (I’ve mentioned it before) can’t remember which post, sorry. I started it a few months ago, got part way through, then got distracted so put it down and started looking at something else trauma related, maybe YT videos. I Read more

  • So I couldn’t write yesterday feeling as flat as pancake and completely deflated after getting really stressed out trying to catch my cat to get him in. I think he’s a little unwell (he’s eating, but not like he normally does) and was being a total PITA (pain in the ass) trying to get him Read more

  • I had a cold shower again this morning and did my pranayama (I hate the term “breath work”) It’s fucking pranayama, why don’t people use the correct terminology and give it the credence it deserves???? And I do the funny eye movements (look it up online, resetting the vagus nerve through eye movements). Those things Read more