Musings
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Is anger also suppressed or unused creativity? I once saw a Brene Brown quote that goes something like “unused creativity isn’t benign; it metasizes – it turns into anger, rage, frustration and shame” – something like that. That is not verbatim. It resonated like pressing down on deep bruise. Writing is my flow place. It Read more
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I’ve spiralled over the past few days, since last Thursday. I’ve been feeling depressed, lost, with no feeling or purpose, no direction, lost in the wilderness of my life (again – I’ve been here before) and the same compulsive thoughts flying around my mind that I can’t seem to get rid of. I got up Read more
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I’ve read that being mentally scattered or just plain scatty is a by product of a fucked up, deregulated nervous system from early trauma It’s how I feel this morning. Scatty, scattered and totally ADHD, where I can’t focus on my morning yoga and exercise routine (because my mind is anxious racing around everywhere). You’d Read more
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I started writing this post a week ago, felt like shit as I was going on and on about nothing and then committed it to the drafts bin because it felt like I was walking through treacle. I mustered up the energy that day to open my lap top and write. I’m wasn’t finding it Read more
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I was really worried after I split from The Narc in Dec 2023 that I wouldn’t know how to spot another one, and that another would surreptitiously infiltrate itself into my life again to wreak havoc. Well I’m quite pleased with myself. My narc-dar (that’s a narc radar) seems to be working; I’ve spotted and Read more
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So I couldn’t write yesterday feeling as flat as pancake and completely deflated after getting really stressed out trying to catch my cat to get him in. I think he’s a little unwell (he’s eating, but not like he normally does) and was being a total PITA (pain in the ass) trying to get him Read more
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I’m struggling to write today. I feel flat. My beloved pet cat has stressed me out to the max acting like a spoilt teenager (although he’s 7 so that makes him 49 in human years). I haven’t written for a few days and pissed off as I made a commitment to myself to write every Read more
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Today I feel strangely together and resilient, much more myself. I haven’t felt this strong and together in literally months and I’m trying to figure out what’s changed. Of course I’ve started this blog thing, which is for me to document my healing journey from childhood trauma and write on here daily. Seriously, I have Read more
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I’m not going to tell anyone my name, who I am, where I live etc. It’s inconsequential. Anonymity in a digital world is priceless. A writer is what I should have become all my life and a huge part of me that I left on the shelf at 16-ish, (because I was angry with the Read more