Healing My Childhood Trauma

A Personal Memoir

Healing

  • cry baby…

    So…I burst into tears in front of a group of women I’d never met before (this happened last week). I tell one lie – I knew one of them (not the other 7). It seems like I have a load more healing to do… Here’s what happened: I bumped into The One I Know at… Read more

  • I had a brain dump on Whatsapp. Yes I message myself when a thought comes to me. It’s quite good you should try it some time. Anyway here’s my literal, unedited Whatsapp message brain dump: This is what it has felt like and feels like living in a traumatised CPTSD body: Scattered, unfocused, inability to… Read more

  • logic kills creativity…

    I started writing this last night but I just couldn’t flow, totally wired and trying to come down from the ceiling from an external battle that I’m in right now. I was sitting in front of the screen last night, with a tightness in me and overthinking on what to write even though I knew… Read more

  • confused chaos…

    I’m at an impasse; I’m trying to ‘sort my life out’ (again) for probably the 5th time in the last decade, figuring out how to move forward and carve out my life (again) reinventing myself (again) and I’m confused not knowing where to start (again) at 49. Although the therapy I’m having is giving me… Read more

  • Yes I’ve been silent for a month or so (again) and yes I know, I’m not keeping the promises to myself to document this healing journey as often as I should. Should is a heavy word. But at the same time, I can’t and won’t pressure myself. This is my journey of healing and it’s… Read more

  • I’ve just read one of my previous posts Solace is Golden, and I know I’ve regressed. For the past 3 weeks since I re-surfaced to share my healing, I’ve not been able to cope with my emotions. I haven’t written in recent weeks as the emotional overload has left me feeling deflated and depressed with… Read more

  • No I haven’t disappeared into oblivion. It’s classic isn’t it? Life gets in the way, or should I say, you let life get in the way, and the healing goes on hold. I feel thoroughly ashamed. I feel like I’ve let myself down (and anyone reading this – sorry); I haven’t written for about 3… Read more

  • solace is golden…

    I feel like I’ve fallen off the wagon…I haven’t written since 27 July. But I do have a very valid excuse. It’s because I *actually* took a dear friend’s advice to get out of my mental and daily rut (I’m a pro at NOT taking advice!!) and went away for a week for a sojourn,… Read more

  • As a survivor of childhood trauma, thriving is a thing that I’m literally having to learn. And that is in all areas of my life from play to work to relationships. Especially with relationships. I haven’t had the discerning ability to know what’s good for me or not, and how to ‘choose’ male relationships rather… Read more

  • It’s a Saturday sunny midday and I’m sitting down to write this blog. I’m not sure how many Saturdays I’ve sat down to write. I feel strangely peaceful and calm today; I don’t feel so stormy from within today. What it could be is I did do some yoga this morning along with vagus nerve… Read more