Childhood
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….a continuation (there’s too much to say…) The unholy trinity abandoned us knowing all of the dangers, without any warning, without a conversation; devoid of an explanation, without a care in the world. They were like sisters to me. I’d grown up with them from a baby. They were all I knew and I loved… Read more
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I originally started this post on Sunday; it’s now Friday. In fact, I wrote it and published it in one fell swoop on Sunday night. But after I published there was a distinct uncomfortable feeling within me, a disjointedness, an awkwardness, a strange feeling of deep shame surrounding what I’d written. I don’t know why… Read more
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My mental health has taken a huge nose-dive this past week. I’m still fragile. Extremely. I feel like I’ve collapsed from within. My emotions are teetering and simmering on the surface and I’m edgy as hell. Very edgy. I’m crying easily over seemingly minor issues and I feel weak from within; all my inner strength… Read more
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I’ve been unable to write for over a week. And I’ve been reading too many novels. My creativity has felt crooked and crumpled down within me, concertinaed like a less-than-pretty origami shape that I didn’t know how to undo; I’ve been feeling like a tangled mess (like my split ends all mangled together) and I… Read more
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My lack of real friends and closeness with others is bothering me and has been for over a week. I got triggered last week by someone I consider a friend (but who clearly doesn’t feel the same way about me) who I knew was sweeping me aside. You can tell what’s going on from text… Read more
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I’m at an impasse; I’m trying to ‘sort my life out’ (again) for probably the 5th time in the last decade, figuring out how to move forward and carve out my life (again) reinventing myself (again) and I’m confused not knowing where to start (again) at 49. Although the therapy I’m having is giving me… Read more
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As above, so below; as within, so without. I originally started this post on 3 Feb 25 but it fell by the wayside which pisses me off as this writing is cathartic for me and also a promise to myself and my healing. There’s just been too much aggro and bullshit going on in my… Read more
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I’ve just read one of my previous posts Solace is Golden, and I know I’ve regressed. For the past 3 weeks since I re-surfaced to share my healing, I’ve not been able to cope with my emotions. I haven’t written in recent weeks as the emotional overload has left me feeling deflated and depressed with… Read more
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No I haven’t disappeared into oblivion. It’s classic isn’t it? Life gets in the way, or should I say, you let life get in the way, and the healing goes on hold. I feel thoroughly ashamed. I feel like I’ve let myself down (and anyone reading this – sorry); I haven’t written for about 3… Read more
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Last year I stayed at a B&B down south with my narcy ex called “Gunnado”. I didn’t get it at first. I pronounced it “Gunardo”. It’s actually pronounced “Gunn-a-do” – you know, I’m gunna do it. Simply because the owners had the flat on their ‘gunna-do-it” list. Didn’t realise that flat was an oracle telling… Read more