I am re-reading, in my opinion, a very good book that I bought a few months ago when the realisation hit me that I have a mountain of unresolved trauma to heal. It’s a secret read. Not one of these hyped-up, over marketed, polished Hay House authors (that is all about them, their image and never about the content) but a book I stumbled across just doing some online searching. It’s called Healing from Trauma: A Survivor’s Guide to Understanding Your Symptoms and Reclaiming Your Life, by Jasmin Lee Cori, a trauma survivor herself and a trained psychotherapist. I bought a used copy from Ebay – that way I can buy more books for less. It’s better than the book going on the scrap heap.
I say re-reading because it’s unfinished like a lot of books and projects – I started it, got three quarters of the way through and then got distracted. I live my life at a million miles an hour, mentally, in an ADHD type fashion, and get distracted by the tiniest of things and in a heartbeat, I’m off on another tangent before I realise. I nearly just did it again as I have an agenda to type out for a resident’s meeting, thinking that I need to do that thing right now! But I consciously reigned myself back in and thought, “no, finish what I’m writing and then move onto the next task”. It’s either fast or faster or or feeling so overwhelmed that I stop everything and veg out, watching mind-numbing TV or distracting myself more whilst watching TV to see what’s on the Telegram groups I’m in. Anyway this fast, and faster survival mode way of being is something I learned from this book which is a trauma-led way of living and being. I think I have to catch myself in this fast and faster modus operandi and change the pattern – a pattern interrupt.
There’s also other somatic signs she mentions that I definitely have: cold hands and feet, very tight and constrictive muscles, poor posture (self protection maybe?), digestive issues (can’t stomach what’s happened?), and accident prone – stubbing toes, knocking my elbow several times per day, twisting my ankle badly. I used to fall over a lot in my 20’s and 30’s and badly grazing knees and elbows – I needed 10 stitches in my knee in my mid-30’s when a flap of skin had come off it (after another fall). She says how trauma is an internal injury and therefore the cells of the body and therefore the nervous system change. Ad the physiological symptoms are is all part of a dysregulated nervous system, something I’m working on trying to reset (hence the cold showers and outdoor water swimming).
Other self-healing tools I use are as eye movements where you keep your head straight and move your eyeballs only, self abdominal massage through the belly button (as the vagus nerve extends all the way down from the brain to the belly – is that why they call the gut the second brain I wonder??) and pranayama – especially brahmini, or bee sound, which is humming whilst closing your ears with your fingers and shutting your eyes. The reverberation of the humming sound helps to regulate the system. Of course Peter Levine has appropriated that from 1000 year old yogic tradition and calls it the ‘voo’ sound…typical Western approach.
Any I just keep having the same question lingering which is how am I going to know though when I’m recovered from an injury like trauma…? How will I know when all my pieces are truly back together again…???
If baring my soul to you (and the world) has moved or touched a part of you in any way, then your support would be very welcome. To help me on this healing journey, perhaps you’d like to buy me a coffee (although mines a tea) via the link below:
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